A Rising Tide

Like the rest of the world, most of my goals took a beating this year. 

But ever since school ended and the glorious freedom of summer has enveloped us – complete with pools of golden light in the mornings and walks around our neighborhood bursting with summer flowers and lush greens – I have felt a shift in my mind and my heart. It is bolstered by lake days with my people and beach days with strangers who I can finally, blessedly be around. It is also from a conviction that we can’t do anything to help the world if our own lives, if our own houses are not in order. We need strong hearts, strong minds, and strong bodies.

There is a powerful grace at work in the world, despite the pain and problems and discord. I saw it on FULL display at the Lux Summit last weekend with Leah Darrow and her amazing speakers. It radiates from Kristin’s ministry over at One Hail Mary at a Time. It can be seen in the work that Carrie Gress and Noelle Mering are doing at Theology of Home (their second book is coming out soon!) And it is definitely on overtime in Lisa Canning’s work. Her talk at the Lux summit was the most refreshing thing I had heard in a while, and I skip-hopped over to her Future Full of Hope seminar. 

Man, is this girl on FIRE with setting goals and promoting positivity. All these ladies are, and their ministries all started with a dream God placed on their hearts. He works through our dreams and goals.

I normally set goals, and the power of small daily investments toward goals was my jam while I wrote my first novel. But recently between the twins and COVID and life with teens through toddlers I started to slowly put goals at arms reach. I stayed in survival mode and started to think there wasn’t anything extra that I could give – time, energy, focus – because I was so tapped. I started to slowly put myself last because I didn’t have that inner purpose that goals give you. Everyone else’s needs started to creep in to every crevice of time I had. I was like a boat at sea who lost the horizon line. Somehow, when this happens, doubt and fear and other people’s opinions creep in too.

I think this happens to a lot of us a lot of the time. We’re human and motherhood is hard. But it’s so important to catch when this has taken hold and turn it around.

A few weeks into the quarantine, I could feel myself losing my bearings, and I made the rather spontaneous decision to pick up the novel I was 10,000 words into and go at it with momentum. Every naptime, like a meditation, I escaped into a suspenseful world and by the time the twins woke up, my well was refilled.  

This was great for the sliver of my life that is labeled ‘Career’ or ‘Meaningful Work’. But I lacked goals in the other areas of my life and they suffered. Working out, time with my husband, decluttering my house were all categories that were being put on the back burner. I walked everyday with the twins but I couldn’t find time to do a strength workout where I sweat, and I needed this. Running used to be this for me but my back doctor took an X-ray of my back and said I shouldn’t run any more, and I hadn’t found a replacement.

We’ve only had 1 class, but already all of the areas of my life have been given a jolt from the defibrillator paddles of her positivity. Lisa reminded me that the longings and dreams of our heart are gifts from God, and we should listen to them. When we do, waking up each day is exciting and fun and full of passion and purpose. Life feels like an adventure. And it tends to be contagious, which is huge for moms. When we are purposeful and passionate it rubs off on our kids.

I know this message is radiated elsewhere, but something about the way Lisa – who is a mom of eight and is very open about her families struggles especially with her husband’s depression and anxiety – says it that makes me listen and believe her. She showed us her goals and dreams that she has set that have come true, and the ones she is still working towards. They are all amazing. Since I sat down and started dreaming about what goals I have in my life, my attitude has totally changed. I’m not in survival mode. I’m looking forward to so many things and somehow far from taking the last bits of energy I have, working towards goals has given me more energy. In the last week I have:

• Become fierce about protecting my work outs. I signed up for Beachbody and I’ve done Barre Blend every day. I forgot how awesome it is to be sore but strong and to move gracefully.

• Went on a date night with my husband to a dreamy dinner and then sat at the beach and planned dreams for our future. I encouraged him in his dreams and it looks like we have a lot of travel in our future.

• Created a vision board that is blowing my mind. What if these things came true? 

• Encouraged my kids in their goal setting and suddenly everyone is working out more and reading more. 

• Started the 54-day Rosary Novena. I usually read the daily readings and say the Rosary but I am already feeling the fruits of going deeper into my prayer life. 

Maybe you need to be reminded just like I was that there is something special about flipping that switch and living intentionally as opposed to just surviving. A rising tide lifts all boats.