Katie Curtis

What I’m Reading

10 April, 2015/0 Comments/in Uncategorized/by Katie

For some reason, I could hardly read this winter. Head + pillow = sleep was the equation of my failure. I blame skiing. And sickness. But here are a few that I managed to read/get more than half-way through (still finishing a few! See post title in the present tense.) Enter spring’s longer days and, surprise! I can stay awake and read. Plus I had those 3 vacation days in Puerto Rico to jump start my brain that’s been frozen in a tundra. (Yes, I am blaming yet another thing on this winter).

I would recommend all of these because I close a book if I can’t get into it. I have no guilt in cutting my losses. So I hope you get to dive into a few of these soon. And I would love to hear any recommendations you all have for the last best book you’ve read. Word of mouth is a book lover’s best friend.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed –

I read this on my trip to Puerto Rico (haven’t seen the movie). I really liked the writing in this book, and sort of studied the way she crafted her memoir (the lost boot in the first few pages = a great hook. You couldn’t wait to see how she finished the trail with no boots! At least I couldn’t the emotional lightweight that I am). I also loved how tangible her mom’s love for her and her siblings was in the first chapter. It hit such an emotional note from the get go that you were invested, rooting, caring from the very start. (I still have about a third of the book left but hope to finish it this weekend.) Other books by this author: I read a little bit of her Tiny Beautiful Things when I borrowed it from my friend pool side, which is an anonymous advice column she wrote and the pieces are so encouraging and uplifting.

Someone by Alice McDermott –

This book is like staring at a painting. The mental images are so finely drawn (i.e. “I could see the down on my mother’s face”) that even though the events in the main character’s life are very uninteresting and underachieving (her first job is at a funeral home, as a teenager she purposely makes mistakes when cooking what her mother asks so she won’t be expected to cook in her life) the book reads with a pulse that comes from amazing observations of people, creating characters that stay in your memory from tiny details. The title ‘Someone’ is meant to underscore that she is almost no one of consequence, but every life story can be seen through an artistic lens so that you can find beauty and meaning in it. It is set in Brooklyn, where the author grew up, and her chiseled memories and sketches of this city add a beautiful backdrop to the book. Other books by this author: Charming Billy, which I loved and was also filled with amazing character sketches and the Irish culture in the big city.

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson –

This exquisitely written book is narrated by a preacher who is dying, and is a letter to his young son where he examines his faith, and his life, in order to give an account to this young boy about where he came from. He tells gripping stories about his father – who was a pragmatic minister – and grandfather, who claimed to have been visited by Jesus – and their lives in the newly settled town in Iowa. But it is also a universal story about the times in our life filled with trials and difficulty and loneliness. Oh, and it won the Pulitzer Prize for literature. So you don’t have to take my word for it. Other books by this author: Home, which I can’t wait to read.

Death By Living by N.D. Wilson –

This was recommended by another blogger and it was a quick read. As a parent, I really liked it, since he did a great job of putting to words how fleeting and how marvelous our job is to give kids their foundation in life. He is a dad of 5 and really into stoking kids imaginations and has written many young adult books. He is the son of a preacher and he reads like it so if that is not your bag you may not love it. And he kind of put down other faiths (Catholics love John Paul II because he was friends with Bono. Like that is the only thing he was know for?) besides his Calvinist one but the essential idea – that life is hard and the good things in it just might cost a lot – is a good message. Other books by this author: Notes From The Tilt-A-Whirl.

This is The Story of a Happy Marriage –

Where do I start with how much I love Ann Patchett? Both her fiction and non-fiction make me hang on every word. She is smart enough to not let sentimentality take over, but she has enough heart to put pure logic in its place. She gives her essays such a structure around meaning that I think of them long after I put them down. A lonely drive in the south where she gives a stranger a lift, a fight with her husband in a choice restaurant in Paris, a road trip in a Winnebago where they decide to stay together. All of these scenes can be recalled as if an intimate friend reported them, which is how the best books read. Other books by this author: Bel Canto, State of Wonder

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing –

The title does not lie. I could do a whole post JUST on this book. I feel changed and like organization is within my grasp, and it is so simple. Just get rid of all the extra stuff you don’t need in your house! If that sounds daunting (it does to me), Marie gives you the KonMari method and breaks it down into no-nonsense baby steps that are so doable. She strongly recommends you tackle each category of stuff in order – clothes, books, paperwork, miscellaneous stuff, and sentimental stuff. She sliced through the psycological reasons we hold on to stuff. My house/closet/basement will never be the same. I’ve already filled 8 garbage bags of stuff and itching to do more.

American Sniper –

My husband read this first and I probably picked it up so we could talk about it together. But guess what? I really couldn’t put it down. I read it in a weekend at the ski condo, and I can attest that you can read it while having 4 kids jump on you on a snowy Sunday morning. It has some great story telling. Chris Kyle (and his wife and co-writers) have a knack for taking their experiences and pulling out gripping tales. The poignancy of his life makes these stories all the more weighty.

Next Up:

The Orphan Train – Just picked it out for book club but I have heard great things. I also opted to have it sent to my Kindle and my Audible app. The odds are much higher that I will finish a book these days if I have it on both.

Root Vegetable Shepard’s Pie

9 April, 2015/in humbleonion/by Katie

{Alternate Post Title: The dinner everyone will love. Kids. Picky Paleo Husbands. Everyone.}

It’s Spring (technically!) – almost time for asparagus, and fiddle head ferns, and after that tomatoes…but here in New England, there is still this pesky white stuff coming down. All over our yard. So we’re still craving some comfort food.

After I got back from my trip to Puerto Rico (which was every bit as restorative and relaxing as you can imagine. Check out my upcoming post about what I’ve been reading on katiecurtis.net which was brought to you by my vacation) I wanted to show a little love to my family and was really inspired to make a comfort food dinner.

I had been dreaming of putting a twist on the one Alton Brown makes (which for the record is my favorite original Shepard’s Pie recipe) by using more root vegetables instead of the traditional peas and corn. I think the best outcome of eating the whole foods/Paleo diets is you really do start to crave rich, hearty vegetables. So I mixed the mashed potatoes with rutabaga (so delicious!):

and I mixed the lamb meat mixture with carrots, parsnips, and celery root.

The results were so soul satisfying and healthy and everyone licked their bowls clean.

You can very easily substitute any root vegetable in this recipe – and I usually use celery root with the potatoes so that is definitely a win but the rutabaga was incredible.

I think this may have to become a spring time tradition, since these ingredients really are eating seasonally – root veggies are still being harvested and lamb just says spring. You can easily substitute beef (or mushrooms if you want to go meatless) for the lamb.

Hope you try this for your peeps today – it is so easy and you get to clean up while it cooks so you can spend time with the people you love. Bonus: This might have just bought me my next vacation since everyone knows they’ll eat well when I get back.

Root Vegetable Shepherd’s Pie (printer version here):

Ingredients:

For the potatoes:

1 pounds russet potatoes, cubed

1 pound rutabega, cubed

1/2 cup milk (or half & half)

2 ounces unsalted butter

3/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 egg yolk

For the meat filling:

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 cup chopped onion

2 carrots, peeled and diced small

2 parsnips, peeled and diced small

1 small celery root, diced small

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 1/2 pounds ground lamb

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

3 teaspoons tomato paste

1 1/2 cups chicken broth

2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

2 teaspoons freshly chopped rosemary leaves

1 teaspoon freshly chopped thyme leaves

Directions:

Peel the potatoes and rutabaga and cut into 1/2-inch dice. Place in a medium saucepan and cover with cold water. Set over high heat, cover and bring to a boil. Once boiling, uncover, decrease the heat to maintain a simmer and cook until tender and easily crushed with tongs, approximately 10 to 15 minutes. Place the milk and butter into a microwave-safe container and heat in the microwave until warmed through, about 35 seconds. Drain the potatoes/rutabaga mixture in a colander and then return to the saucepan. Mash the potatoes and then add the half and half, butter, salt and pepper and continue to mash until smooth. Stir in the yolk until well combined.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

While the potatoes are cooking, prepare the filling. Place the oil into a 12-inch saute pan and set over medium high heat. Once the oil shimmers, add the onions, carrots and parsnips and saute just until they begin to take on color, approximately 3 to 4 minutes. Add the garlic and stir to combine. Add the lamb, salt and pepper and cook until browned and cooked through, approximately 3 minutes. Sprinkle the meat with the flour and toss to coat, continuing to cook for another minute. Add the tomato paste, chicken broth, Worcestershire, rosemary, thyme, and stir to combine. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to low, cover and simmer slowly 10 to 12 minutes or until the sauce is thickened slightly.

Spread evenly into an 11 by 7-inch glass baking dish. Top with the mashed potato/rutabaga mixture, starting around the edges to create a seal to prevent the mixture from bubbling up and smooth with a rubber spatula. Place on a parchment lined half sheet pan on the middle rack of the oven and bake for 25 minutes or just until the potatoes begin to brown. Remove to a cooling rack for at least 15 minutes before serving.

(Adapted from Alton Brown’s Shepards Pie recipe found at foodnetwork.com)

Artichoke Gratinata

3 April, 2015/in humbleonion/by Katie

My friends, did you know that there is a way to make an artichoke taste more…

like an artichoke? I mean, to bring out its artichoke essence and let it sit on your tongue, making your taste buds explode with artichoke-ness?

(If you don’t like artichokes you might want to click out.)

I have such a weakness for these strange little vegetables. When there is a dish on a restaurant menu that has even a hint of artichoke in it, that’s pretty much what I am going to order. Almost every time. I love love artichokes. Dip, soup, pasta, straight up. All good.

So a few years back when I was looking for artichoke bottoms for our previous Easter tradition of filling artichoke bottoms with petit pois, or little baby peas, which is a really cute and very spring-y dish, I couldn’t find any artichoke bottoms. I searched for an artichoke recipe to replace that on our menu (for the record I haven’t seen artichoke bottoms since, maybe they stopped selling them?). I stumbled upon this recipe from Giada De Laurentiis for Artichoke Gratinata – an Italian version of the French Gratin which you probably figured out – and never looked back because, yum.

This recipe is sort of like a meditation in which you contemplate how many delicious things can I add to the artichoke to make it even better? Olive oil? Garlic and Parsley? Ok.

How about wine? Marsala sounds good! (I bet white would be good too!)

And chicken broth and red pepper flakes. Good. To top it off, how about parmesan, bread crumbs and butter?

Are we good? Have we covered the universe of delicious steps to do to food? Barring chocolate, I think so.

I hope you try this for a holiday or special dinner soon, you will thank me, I promise it will be in heavy rotation after because holy goodness. A revelation. This is why I love food.

Artichoke Gratinata (printer version here on Food Network):

Ingredients:

3 tablespoons olive oil
1 garlic clove, minced
1 pound frozen artichoke hearts, thawed
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley leaves
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/2 cup chicken broth
1/4 cup Marsala wine
2 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup plain bread crumbs
1/3 cup grated Parmesan
Directions:

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

Warm the olive oil in a heavy bottom skillet over medium-high heat. Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute. Add the artichoke hearts, parsley, salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes and cook until the artichoke hearts are starting to brown at the edges, about 3 minutes. Add the chicken broth and wine and simmer for 3 minutes. Transfer the artichoke mixture to a 2-quart baking dish.

Melt the butter in the same skillet used to cook the artichokes. In a small bowl mix the melted butter with the bread crumbs. Stir in the Parmesan and top the artichokes with the bread crumbs. Bake until the top is golden, about 10 minutes.

Recipe courtesy of Giada De Laurentiis

Sunshine & Suitcases

25 March, 2015/in humbleonion/by Katie

Guys, my spring fever is sky high while the temps stay below 20 degrees here in New Hampshire. Watching my toddler try to play in the concrete snow around our house is the saddest thing! So when my best friend mentioned how cheap and direct the flight was to Puerto Rico, what else was I going to do but say yes to a weekend trip with her and her sister? My wonderful husband is all for it since he’s been traveling a lot and I am a sherpa momma for our family to go skiing every other weekend. Payback is a wonderful thing.

As I am packing my bags this week I am practically drooling at the pictures of sundresses and beaches in all the catalogs. So, I thought I would share with you my wish list for this summer (a few of them from JCrew Factory and Madewell are coming with me for sure!):

Let’s start with Anthropologie:

This dress is also in light blue and raspberry and it is on sale right now. And it looks like it could be rolled into a suitcase and then worn directly to a fancy dinner.

Tailored buttons + eyelet = match made in Heaven.

I would like these boots too for what is sure to be a muddy spring.

Love the simple bohemian vibe these dresses capture! The last one is my favorite but it’s silk – so not practical and super pricey, but a girl can dream.

JCrew Factory:

We have one of these in Kittery, ME about 15 minutes from my house and I love having it so close! Headed there today where I am going to grab a few of these items:

These shorts with a white Tshirt. All. Summer. Long.

I plan on living in these by the pool.

Madewell: I actually posted about these sunglasses before but they have totally lasted and I still love them. And the tote is just perfect for stuffing with everything I’ll need on the flight.

This dress just makes me swoon. Also, it is called Tidalwave. So you have to bring it to a sandy vacation, right?

Boden: I usually buy Boden on sale, they have some great clearance prices at the end of season. Here is what I will be scouting in the months to come:

I want these sandals in every color, but I actually have a pair of silver metallic sandals from Boden from a few years ago that I still love. They are already in my bag.

Pink and green = my favorite color combo.

I also want this top in every color to go with the cute JCrew shorts.

This necklace is the perfect accessory for a trip since it goes with maxi dresses, shorts and a Tshirt or a bathing suit and cover up. Love.

Thanks for getting into the spirit of sunshine and beaches with me! I will be sharing the yummy food we get over on Instagram so feel free to view Puerto Rico through my (very short) window this weekend.

Curried Pumpkin Coconut Soup

20 March, 2015/in humbleonion/by Katie

One of the things that made me want to do the Whole30 was because I genuinely love vegetables and finding new things to do with them.

Unfortunately, I also really love cheese. And bread. And wine. So, my Whole30 was a Whole14.

I feel like I need to be honest here because I laid it out for you lovely readers that I was doing the Whole30 and because maybe you thought, hey, should I try that too?

Well, yes and no.

Yes if you have any health issues, especially with digestion or allergies or asthma or insomnia and you want to find out if there is a food that is causing it. Because I think the only way to get through the month is if your life depended on it. (Just kidding. I am totally weak, I know.) Seriously, many people have had life-long issues clear up with this diet. So I do think it is great. I just don’t happen to have any. I did it because I wanted to lose weight.

But if you are already eating healthy and do most of the things you are supposed to do (thinking of you Molly!), then maybe just track your eating because this is one restrictive diet. I read one blogger post “you’re not the boss of me Whole30!” And like the rebellious teenager that I am, I agreed and promptly ate some greek salad and had a glass of red wine. The days 11,12,13, and 14 were so hard and I kept waiting for it to get easier but it didn’t. It was admittedly a very hard week with my husband out of town and sick kids (excuses I know!) so that may have sucked my will power dry. But I do well with a varied diet that gives me energy to work out and relieve stress. (You will have no energy to work out and will only want to sleep. If I had stuck it out I might have found some new energy, but I thought eating toast might be easier). I can only hope that spring and summer running will take care of the last of the baby weight for me because I love food too much, according to the founders of whole30 and everyone who has ever read this blog.

I did find some delicious recipes however. My loss (or lack thereof) is your gain.

Here is one that I totally fell in love with. It was posted by someone in my Whole30 Facebook group. It is so simple I had to try it, and with this few number of ingredients, it will be a staple in my house.

When I first made it, I was probably so desperate for something interesting that I ate it without pureeing it and I loved it! The next day I used an immersion blender and it just went to a whole other flavor level. It seemed infused with a curry flavor. So definitely use a blender and know that it tastes better the second day.

So, here is the easiest, tastiest, Whole30 compliant recipe I can give you. And if you’ve been missing gluten, dairy, grains, and cheese here on the blog, me too friends. Me too.

Curried Pumpkin Coconut Soup (printer version here from Recipe.com)

2 Tablespoons unsalted butter
1 small onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
2 Teaspoons curry powder
1/2 Teaspoon salt
1/4 Teaspoon pepper
14 1/2 Ounces chicken broth
14 1/2 Ounces water
15 Ounces unsweetened pumpkin purée
3/4 Cup coconut milk

Directions

Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Cook onion until softened, 5 minutes. Add garlic, curry powder, salt and pepper and cook 1 minute more.
Add broth, water and purée; mix well. Reduce heat to low. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 20 minutes. Stir in coconut milk.
Purée soup in blender in several batches until smooth. Return to saucepan. Reheat and serve.

Finding Joy

20 March, 2015/4 Comments/in Writing/by Katie

Last Thursday was a normal day for me. My husband was on a business trip, I woke up, got my three oldest kids on the bus, cared for a feverish toddler and cuddled him on the couch instead of working out. I did the dishes. I made extra coffee.

While I was doing these ordinary things, a woman lay quietly dying in a town next to me, at a hospice home. She had lost her fight against breast cancer. She was a former member of my book club though I didn’t know her. She was almost my age, 37, and had two young kids.

Also circulating this week are the beautiful words of a neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi, as well as his death from metastic lung cancer. He was also 37, with one young daughter. Somehow it is our common age that makes these lives, these stories, set up camp in my heart. Being a parent, the one responsible for so many things, the doer of so many tasks, it is easy to think we are invincible. That death can’t touch us because there is breakfast to be made and a school run in 15 minutes.

At the same time, there is new life all around me. It seems like every time I turn around a new baby is being born to my friends, my family, bloggers I read. I went to my nephew’s baptism this past weekend, in a church overflowing with the children of my family and friends. The spirit of young children was so well captured by Paul Kalanithi as he wrote of his final days:

“Yet there is dynamism in our house. Our daughter was born days after I was released from the hospital. Week to week, she blossoms: a first grasp, a first smile, a first laugh. Her pediatrician regularly records her growth on charts, tick marks of her progress over time. A brightening newness surrounds her. As she sits in my lap smiling, enthralled by my tuneless singing, an incandescence lights the room.

How can one world hold so much? How can one heart?

At the christening, I talked to my friend Dave, whose 7 year old son has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and is adorable and hilarious and has a life expectancy of 27 years. I think about their family a lot, mostly because they post the funny things he says on Facebook. (Today’s example: When his mom got pulled over by a cop for speeding, he shouted, “Mom, are you going to jail!?” She got a warning.) They recently got turned down for a drug trial that they were really hoping to participate in, to hopefully buy time for their son. His wife Kathy took the news really hard. But Dave said, “I just keep telling her, we have today. We have right now. I choose right now.”

I am in awe of Dave and Kathy. And Paul. And the caretakers of people who will walk the narrow way on this earth. But I think they know something precious from their trials. Young people who have lost a parent, and husbands and wives who have lost their spouse, people with family members battling chronic illness. They know how to find joy, since they have had to cultivate seeking it out. And they know not to take it for granted.

As I waded through another week of a winter that is just hanging on, of colds that are just hanging on, I thought of those hurting, and I thought of Dave and Kathy. And how insignificant (though very real) my cabin cancer + sick kids + husband traveling week was was in the big picture. I had a chat with my heart that was buried under all these layers of coldness and loss and isolation.

Enough. Find some joy.

So I set out to turn my heart around. To chose right now too. I went for a run and took a shower, I bought some flowers and cooked a big dinner for all the people I love. I read to my toddler and five year old. I listened to my chatty first grader about diaries and first grade gossip (which is hilarious). I played chess with my second grader. I prayed.

And something happened. Something really remarkable. By opening up the space in my heart for joy, it had a place to go to. And it came. I don’t know if it was grace, or neurons, or something in our will that lets us choose joy, but it happened.

There is such a vastness wrapped up in the small, insignificant moments of our days. A loved one walking in the door, a belly laugh, the taste of good peach jam on toast. It is hard to catch sometimes, but it’s there. Here’s to seeking it, to being reminded of it, and to letting it rest in our hearts.

Fish en Papillote

12 March, 2015/in humbleonion/by Katie

I can’t remember where I first heard of Fish en Papillote (Fish in Paper). It’s a classic French method for cooking fish and veggies but do not let that scare you. Ever wrapped a potato in tin foil and baked it? You’ve got the method down pat.

I am possibly the most excited to share this post of any that I’ve ever done, because I know once you know this method you will have a way to cook fish that is simple, quick (cooks in 10 minutes!) easy, rustic, elegant, and did I mention easy?

I used to make this a lot when I was trying to eat light after my third baby, and now that I remember how yummy it is, it will be on heavy rotation. Did I mention it is Whole30 compliant?

(You don’t care.)

But trust me, because with these flavors, can it possibly taste awful? {Yes, it can. If you use bad fish.} But if you use good quality fish from a trusted fish monger (love that word), this will turn out so yummy you won’t believe it, especially because you put little to no effort in. These beauties did all the work:

For the record, I made this before I ever did Whole30 because it is so so good. I feel like this is important to mention because I hate feeling deprived, I love flavor, and this is one of those great dishes that makes you feel indulged without any guilt.

But for those of you who do care about Whole30 ideas, or are simply eating light as spring is starting to ease its way into our open windows and sunlit doors and you are remembering you might need to put on a bathing suit in a few months, this one’s for you.

You can use any kind of fish – salmon, sole, mahi mahi, tuna, halibut, etc. Just adjust time for thickness – a thin filet less then an inch thick gets 8 minutes, a thicker one gets 10-12. I used halibut a little on the thicker side and 12 minutes was perfect.

Make sure you chop your vegetables thin so they’ll cook in the same time as the fish (my very bad attempt at julienned veggies). You can easily just slice them very thin crosswise too.

Oh, and what’s that? No clean up either since you just throw your paper away? It is almost magical how perfect this dish is, isn’t it?

Fish En Papillote (printer version here)

Preheat your oven to 425, then:

1. Chop your veggies. Pick any veggies you like – snap peas, asparagus, red pepper, zucchini or summer squash, carrots, onions, celery, leeks, mushrooms are all fantastic steamed with fish. You want to cut them very thin so they steam in the same amount of time as the fish. I julienned mine (badly) but you can just as easily slice them in thin rounds if you are in a hurry.

2. Lay out a rectangle of parchment paper, fold it in half, and lay your fish on one of the halves. Season with salt & pepper and add a pat of butter.

3. Pile on your veggies, followed by herbs – dill is so great with fish, but I’ve loved thyme with white fish too. I have even added herbed mayo to salmon. Season veggies with a little salt and pepper (being careful not to over salt – you can add more to taste after it’s cooked).

4. Drizzle with lemon and olive oil. (White wine is amazing splashed on here too. Just not whole30 approved as you probably know).

5. Starting at one of the corners next to the fold, start to twist the edges on itself so that the paper forms a seal, allowing the steam inside to cook the fish and veggies. You want to take your time and do it carefully because if steam leaks out it may not be fully cooked.

Crabs In A Bucket: How Brene Brown Could Change Mommy Wars

7 March, 2015/3 Comments/in Uncategorized/by Katie

(Alternate post title: Why Do We Talk About Cupcakes So Much?)

Among the myriad lessons from my childhood is the whole ‘crabs in a bucket’ story. It’s a lesson in resiliency: just like crabs pull down the one that is trying to get free and crawl out of the bucket, human nature has this interesting tendency to pull each other down when we don’t feel our own worth or when we feel threatened or trapped. I’m pretty sure it was delivered by my parents whenever kids were being mean to us. Pithy metaphors are a busy parent’s best friend and it probably stuck because I heard it so many times.

But I’m sure going to use it on my kids because it’s true. And it covers a whole lot of what I see but sort of feel immune to: competition among moms. Mommy wars. Supermom ideas. I just don’t understand the ideas ‘competition’ and ‘motherhood’ used together. If we are striving to lead rich, fulfilling lives, and teaching our children to do the same, where does comparing ourselves to other people fit in?

I recently read a post that included tips for new mothers, and at the top of this list was: don’t let what other’s find to be negative suck the joy out of something you enjoy. And I wanted to stitch it on a pillow and put it on my couch. Because mixed in with the whole conversation of motherhood is a tendency to put down the moms who are striving to create, to find their joy. “I can barely get out of my yoga pants, how dare she make a fancy dinner!” or “My kids haven’t stopped fighting and whining, how dare she have a happy crafting afternoon/lunch/trip to the park with her kids!”

I am here to say it is fine to stay in your yoga pants all day. And it is fine to make a fancy dinner and share the recipe. It is fine to be burnt out from kids fighting, and to have a happy day at the park. They are each true experiences of motherhood. One isn’t less real than the the other. And putting down either one because our day was a different experience is pulling each other down. Hopefully we can find solidarity without finding fault.

I’ve been reading a lot of Brene Brown over the past year. You may know from her popular TED talk about The Power of Vulnerability and her book, Daring Greatly. She is a shame researcher, and is very good at thinking about the parts of our life that are really really messy. (Wait, is this post about shame? What exactly are we going to explore here?) In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she says that if we look at our own striving, we can see if it is motivated to please someone else or to please ourselves. And I think this is where a lot of the confusion comes from. Because some women are striving to please themselves. Especially if you are on the creative side. And others are doing it to feed their worth, or as Shauna Niequist would say, hustling for love. But the only one who needs to determine that is yourself.

For some reason, this topic keeps coming up in the context of cupcakes for our kids. It’s become a symbol of how we ‘do’ motherhood, an easy target. If a mother had a morning to devote to finding her joy in making organic gorgeous cupcakes, for love and mercy’s sake, let her bring in her healthy and cute cupcakes to the school party. Tell her they look great. And if a mother dashed to the grocery store for corn syrup and oil-laden cupcakes, tell her they look great too. If you find yourself judging her, saying ‘my kid is sensitive to sugar!’ or thinking ‘she should have brought fruit, mine is so much healthier’ Brene is gently suggesting that you might wrestle with some standard of motherhood that might be harming everyone, but especially yourself. I am lucky enough to live in a pretty supportive community, but I hear lots of rumblings from other women, in conversations and Facebook and blog posts that make me think Brene Brown is right about shame. Somehow we are mixing up the ‘doing’ of motherhood with the ‘being’ a mother and we are feeling some shame when we think what we do doesn’t measure up to who we should be.

In I Thought It Was Just Me, Brown’s book I am listening to an the Audible app (love it!) she focuses on human connection, how much we are wired for it, and how shame disconnects us. She talks about things like money, weight, style, prestige, or schooling and how they have similar shame and connection issues as the cupcake example. Lightbulbs keep going off about myself and other people when she talks about shame triggers. When we are more aware of them, we can handle them better. And I realized some of the most mystifying interactions I have had with other people are just shame triggers being pulled. Small things that made them defensive and go into attack modes inexplicably. Catty remarks, sarcastic put downs. Her books explain to me why hurt people hurt others. Feelings of shame make people shame others. It’s what makes us act like crabs in a bucket. Shame brings out our worst traits since we aren’t using the part of our brain that is circumspect and empathetic, we are in the part of our brain that is in fight or flight mode. Going back and tweaking my perceptions with this understanding has been really freeing (said everyone in therapy ever).

One of my biggest shame buttons (oh great, even more fun, she is going to tell us about her shame!!) is how messy my house is at any given moment. And my car. And it gets triggered when my friends with really neat houses/cars/garages drop by or need a ride. Even though I love a clean house, I know I regularly choose to play with my kids, make something in the kitchen, get out of the freaking cold or read something interesting over tidying messes (I prefer the term procrastinator to lazy, as I clean up every night, but potato, pah-tah-to). But by understanding the stress or trigger I feel about it, I can own my shame and my mess. And I am freed to make different choices. Like making my kids clean out the car.

Shame is like the zoom button on a camera. We see ourselves as zoomed in up close and we feel alone. But when we can zoom out, we realized many of us share our experiences. We are all human. We are all in different buckets of hardship trying to get free. To process hard things we need to find the people who have empathy, which is very often the people who have gone through the experience too. (We can’t demand that the people who haven’t gone through our experience should understand and be what we need. Lot’s of heartache at the end of that road.) It is the people who think they are going through them alone that are stuck and often hurt and judgmental. And the people who can connect and find others who can say, yes, me too! who are freed and can turn around and free others.

The most important thing I learned from her research is that by seeing our own apparatus at work in shame and worth and connection, and having compassion for ourselves, we grow in our compassion and understanding towards others. What would mommy wars look like if we all read her books?

Do your thang. Let others do theirs without putting them down. The end.

Mediterranean Pan Roasted Chicken

5 March, 2015/in humbleonion/by Katie

I am 6 days in to my Whole30 month and I have to say I am loving it. It helps that I am reading It Starts With Food which goes over a ton of science about why you are eliminating things from your plate, so while I am eating I am thinking, ‘my body is healing itself right now, I love this’. And I am also free from the pangs of hunger I usually get through the day which is honestly freedom for me.

In case you are curious about why I am doing it, lean in close because I’ll tell you. First off, please know that I hate fad diets, love learning about nutrition, and don’t believe in ‘get thin quick’ anythings. I love running and working out as a stress reliever, and the way healthy food makes me feel. But I also love wine and salt & vinegar Popchips (the worst nutrition, I know! They are my kryptonite) while watching movies, sigh. C’est la vie de la mère. After I had each of my kids I was usually able to get back to my pre-baby weight. But hi, Andrew is almost 2 and my last 10 lbs. are hanging on no matter what I do. So that is a big part of my motivation.

I feel like I have tried everything with no results, nada. I used to be able to work off my splurges with exercise but after reading the book I realize that unhealthy carbs were sneaking in so much – cheese and crackers here, wine and pop chips there, there and there, that I was stuck in a cycle of always being hungry. I am so thrilled with both the reset and continuing to eat in a way that I know my body will respond too. It really is a big freedom, and it is sort of under the “there is nothing new under the sun” umbrella because this is a Mediterranean diet, it is low-carb (with more veggies, less cheese), it is Paleo, it is everything your doctor tells you you should do and it is in a framework where you know what the benefits are going to be after 30 days. The first time I tried a different but similar cleanse, I didn’t make it past day 12 (a day when they usually tell you you will break, so true!) but I didn’t know the science behind it and I didn’t know my why. I was also fixated on weighing myself to see if it was working, and when then number didn’t go down, I got discouraged. Whole30 doesn’t let you weigh yourself (so smart!) and now that I know what I’m doing I am pretty determined to complete it.

I read The Nesting Place recently and even though it was about decorating and not food, it said constraints can bring out more creativity in us. And that is exactly how I feel about Whole30! I am so excited to eat this way and make something interesting with just really natural ingredients. I was starting at my fridge last night when my favorite flavors started to call me. Artichokes, olives, tomatoes, basil, garlic. Just love them. (Of course, feta cheese makes it great too but I didn’t miss it, really!)

There are 2 big take aways from this recipe: 1) How to pan sear and 2) this bed of onions, garlic, artichokes, spinach, tomato, and olives is so good, and can be used with anything – shrimp, fish, pasta, chicken.

I hope you can add both of these things to your arsenal of kitchen go-to’s to help your creativity/what should I make for dinner 5 o’clock routine. It is the easiest thing to make too. I promise! Even if you aren’t doing Whole30 you will feel great after you eat it. Scout’s honor.

Mediterranean Pan Seared Chicken with Artichokes and Tomatoes (printer version here):

A Whole30 Recipe

Ingredients (Serves 2-3):

1 lb. chicken

1 diced onion

3 diced garlic cloves

1 can quartered artichokes

½ c. chicken broth

1 pint cherry tomatoes

1 package of spinach

½ c. kalamata olives

4-6 basil leaves, cut

(feta, capers optional)

For Pan Searing: Pre-heat oven to 425. Turn on an oven safe pan on high heat. Pat dry the chicken, and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and any rubs or seasonings you want to use (I use Emeril’s home rub which lasts me a long time). Then heat 1 T. olive oil (it can take the high temps of the oven the best). Lay your steak/chicken/etc. in the pan (you should hear a sizzle) and leave it there for 3-5 minutes, so it gets a nice brown crust. Then turn it over when it looks brown enough and do the same thing on the other side. Once the other side is browned, put the pan in the oven for 6-8 minutes (depending on thickness) so the middle cooks. BE CAREFUL when you pull the handle out of the oven, use a towel, and I even tie my towel on there so I remember it is hot.

For the bed of veggies: Preheat a pan on medium-high heat. Sauté 1 onion, diced in ghee (clarified butter Whole30 allows), butter or olive oil. Then add 3 cloves of garlic and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the can of artichokes and cook for 3 minutes. Add 1/2 cup of chicken broth, salt and pepper, and cook for a few more minutes, reducing the liquid. Then add the spinach, tomatoes and olives for the last 3-4 minutes of cooking. Salt and pepper to taste – I think I added garlic salt too. (Feel free to use other favorite veggies, like broccoli, peppers, carrots, etc.)

Serve with ribbons of basil on top.

Bacon Wrapped Jalapeño Poppers

27 February, 2015/in humbleonion/by Katie

Oh hello there.

How’s your week going?

We are on February School vacation week here, so we took the kids up skiing to North Conway, NH. It’s been a mixed bag with some wonderful ski days and others so cold we were shivering on the chairlift and huddling for warmth. If you follow me on Instagram you know we’ve reached an amazing point where all our older kids can ski with us down most trails and it is such a joy. Though there are some serious heart palpitations for this momma, we mostly have smooth sailing as we fly down the hill.

But no matter what the weather our days always end apres skiing with friends or sitting around a fire. I knew it would be very hard to be Whole30 compliant on vacation, so I have been MOSTLY eating paleo with a few glasses of wine and beer, giving myself that 10 day lent wiggle room. March 1-March 30 will be my hard core window and I am so excited. I honestly love how I feel when I wake up the days I’m compliant. And I am reading It Starts With Food now, and it is SO interesting. Highly recommended.

Also highly recommended are these jalepeno poppers. Just crazy good. They have 4 ingredients and take 10 minutes to make. Think they will be a ski house staple because my husband and kids were super sad when they were gone. (Note to self: make a double batch). They aren’t even hot at all which I thought was surprising. If you like heat you make want to save some of the seeds and mix it into the cream cheese or leave in the popper.

They are ridiculously easy to make.

I love jalapeno poppers so much, and I usually roll them in crushed corn flakes and fry them. But I saw pics floating around of them wrapped in bacon, and I had to try them. My husband was just a teeny bit excited.

First you put the bacon in a 400 degree oven so they cook for a little bit, 5-7 minutes. While they cook, you halve the jalapenos and remove all the ribs and seeds, which is where the heat comes from. Then you stuff them with a mixture of cream cheese and sharp cheddar cheese. I have added cilantro, chives and green onions in the past to my jalepeno popper stuffing – all of which are delicious – but I didn’t have any on hand here.

Take the bacon out of the oven before it is done, blotting them on a paper towel lined plate, and then wrap them around each one. You can use toothpicks, but I didn’t have any and did fine tucking them underneath.

Aren’t they cute?

Then pop them back in the 400 degree oven and cook for 15-20 minutes until the cream cheese oozes out. (Yum).

Hope you get a chance to make these soon, you will thank me!

Bacon Wrapped Jalepeno Poppers (printer version here):

Ingredients:

10 Jalapeno Poppers

1 brick of cream cheese

¾ cup sharp cheddar cheese

2 T. chopped cilantro, chives, or green onions (optional)

1 lb bacon

Directions:

Cook bacon halfway at 400 degrees for 5-7 minutes.

Slice jalapenos in half and discard stems, seeds and ribs. Mix together cream cheese and cheddar cheese with a pinch of salt and pepper. Add chopped herbs if using. Fill each jalapeno half with cream cheese mixture.

Take bacon out of the oven and lay on paper towel lined plate. Then wrap each jalapeno half in a slice of bacon.

Cook at 400 degrees 15-20 minutes until cheese is oozing and jalapenos are soft.